Spider-Man introduction to Captain America: Civil War prompts widespread masturbation

The second official trailer for Captain America: Civil War shows more of the same; perturbed facial expressions, inconsequential background explosions and everyone quietly ignoring the fact that Scarlett Johansson’s character would clearly be mashed by any one of the proper superheroes.

But everyone is obviously masturbating over Spider-Man. Fittingly, he’s introduced by shooting a load of his white goo all over Captain America, an act that I’m sure many fanboys fantasise about.

As for myself, I’m not so sure about his animated eyes. Unless he has a serious case of conjunctivitis and it’s seeping through the material.

You can watch the trailer here.

Follow Chris @CMEcontent

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