{"id":1450,"date":"2016-05-17T00:03:12","date_gmt":"2016-05-17T00:03:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinewipe.com\/?p=1450"},"modified":"2016-05-17T00:24:51","modified_gmt":"2016-05-17T00:24:51","slug":"game-of-thrones-season-6-episode-4-recap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/index.php\/2016\/05\/17\/game-of-thrones-season-6-episode-4-recap\/","title":{"rendered":"Game of Thrones Season 6, Episode 4 recap"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since going all the way downstairs to watch Game of Thrones no longer appeals to me, I now watch it on Now TV.<\/a> I recommend it if you like moving pictures and sounds. Try it here.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Episode 4? My gosh, we\u2019re hurtling through this season, aren\u2019t we? Think of all that story we\u2019ve covered, like Jon Snow coming back from the dead, The Red Woman revealing her true, flabby form and er\u2026 Jon Snow coming back from the dead. It\u2019s so action-packed there hasn\u2019t even been time to think about those approaching White Walkers and their modest little plan to slaughter everyone in Westeros. It\u2019s quite sporting of them to take a backseat while the Stark family systematically regroup and push the narrative in a direction that doesn\u2019t seem to be heading towards utter fucking misery.<\/p>\n

Reminding us that the ice zombies are still a thing, episode four opens with a shot of Jon Snow\u2019s anti-White Walker sword, Longclaw, which seems like a solid indication he\u2019ll be using it soon. Judging by the pace this season is currently moving however, it\u2019s more than likely he\u2019ll be utilising it in some sort of rotisserie, while the characters spend several hours debating the cooking time for a crow. Luckily, Sansa and Brienne have finally made it to Castle Black and are nagging Jon to start stabbing people in the face again.<\/p>\n

Conversely, in Meereen, Tyrion is trying to stop the head stabbing by negotiating a deal with the Masters. To Grey Worm and Missandei\u2019s disgust, he agrees to allow slavery for seven more years before it\u2019s completely abolished. Seven years seems like an awfully long time to me, especially in Game of Thrones where there\u2019s a year gap between each season.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Jorah Mormont and Daario Naharis are still on a mission to rescue Daenerys from Kavos. She\u2019s sick of all the holiday rep-like brutes around her, making crude remarks about her pubic hair being silver and promising Pass the Parcel-style gangbangs. Someone really should remind them that she likes to play with fire and they all live in straw huts.<\/p>\n

\"4500\"<\/p>\n

In another tenuous link, we come to King\u2019s Landing, where everyone\u2019s favourite incestuous couple, Cersei and Jaime, are devising a plan to overthrow the High Sparrow. Teaming up with the Small Council, they agree that preventing a naked walk of shame for Queen Margaery would do wonders for her image, so they propose a siege. Yes, there\u2019s an awful lot of plotting going on this week.<\/p>\n

And we can\u2019t talk about scheming without mentioning Little Finger, who finally makes an appearance in season 6. The smarmy runt still has his sights set on Sansa and intends to use the Lord of the Vale\u2019s (that kid with an unhealthy attachment to his mother\u2019s teat) men to storm Winterfell. He\u2019s likely to bump into the redheaded Stark, too, since she\u2019s planning to return with Jon Snow and a couple of wild things. I mean Wildlings! They\u2019ve just received a colourful letter from Ramsay, detailing the ways in which he\u2019ll make hats out of their innards and reinsert Sansa. Such a romantic.<\/p>\n

After a scene like that, there\u2019s only one thing that can lift our spirits: Daenerys\u2019s flame retardant tits. The Mother of Dragons finally loses her rag with the cast of The Scorpion King and decides to burn them all alive. In almost identical fashion to Khal Drogo\u2019s funeral, she emerges from the fire, completely billy bollocks, prompting the villagers to bow before her. As they marvel at the majesty of her scorching body, two peasants settle a bet concerning the colour of her pubes.<\/p>\n

Not currently blessed with Sky Atlantic and looking for an affordable way to watch breasts and violence? Try Now TV.<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Since going all the way downstairs to watch Game of Thrones no longer appeals to me, I now watch it on Now TV. I recommend it if you… Continue reading <\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1451,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-image"],"yoast_head":"\nGame of Thrones Season 6, Episode 4 recap - CineWipe<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/index.php\/2016\/05\/17\/game-of-thrones-season-6-episode-4-recap\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Game of Thrones Season 6, Episode 4 recap - CineWipe\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Since going all the way downstairs to watch Game of Thrones no longer appeals to me, I now watch it on Now TV. 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