{"id":1645,"date":"2016-06-13T19:06:16","date_gmt":"2016-06-13T19:06:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinewipe.com\/?p=1645"},"modified":"2016-06-13T19:09:06","modified_gmt":"2016-06-13T19:09:06","slug":"game-thrones-season-6-episode-8-recap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/index.php\/2016\/06\/13\/game-thrones-season-6-episode-8-recap\/","title":{"rendered":"Game of Thrones Season 6, Episode 8 recap"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t know about you but I sometimes have to remind myself that there are three massive dragons and an army of ice zombies in this show. I understand they have to justify it being called \u201cGame of Thrones\u201d as opposed to \u201cA Song of Ice and Fire\u201d, but all the politics and exposition seems quite irrelevant when there are fire-breathing behemoths floating about.<\/p>\n

Anyway.<\/p>\n

After having her stomach pierced like the lid of a microwavable cannelloni, Arya is now being treated by Lady Crane, a woman the show seems intent on depicting as an amazing actress, but an even better nurse. She makes shit soup, though, and the penalty for that is death by faceless diminutive lesbian.<\/p>\n

Cut to the most entertaining scene of the episode: The Hound brutalising members of the Brotherhood and, in one instance, brutalising a bloke\u2019s member.<\/p>\n

\u201cFuck you!\u201d the chap cries as his giblets splatter on the floor in a watery mess.<\/p>\n

\u201cThose are your last words? Fuck you?\u201d replies The Hound.<\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026 Cunt!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re shit at dying, you know that?\u201d<\/p>\n

Continuing the theme of humans being as easy to dismember as tear \u2018n\u2019 share garlic bread, The Mountain protects Cersei by ripping off a Sparrow\u2019s head. The way his skull and spine whips out of his body is reminiscent of the Predator films, but this killer doesn\u2019t feel the need to roar about it. You know, despite her initial sociopathic behaviour, I quite like seeing Cersei get these little wins. She might be becoming my favourite character. Typically then, her life is now in danger. King Tommen, the shit, has outlawed trials by combat, announcing she\u2019ll be tried by the Septons instead. This might also rule out a Hound and Mountain faceoff \u00e0 la Kane and The Undertaker, but with more eye popping.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Brienne of Tarth is failing to convince the Blackfish to send all of his men to a certain death. Jon and Sansa need them for their army but they\u2019re too busy letting Jaime and his soldiers into the Riverrun castle. As a result, Blackfish dies rather feebly off-screen. We then witness a strange exchange between Jaime and Brienne as she escapes down the river, softly waving at each other like lovers torn apart because one of them is buggering their own sister.<\/p>\n

Then it\u2019s off to Meereen, where Tyrion is teaching Grey Worm and Missandei how to be more human, primarily by plying them with wine. It\u2019s clearly very strong, since it soon prompts the building to start shaking. Actually, that might have been the Masters armada attacking them from sea. Not to worry, though, as fair-weather ruler Daenerys returns with almost comical timing and the facial expression of a wife unimpressed by her husband\u2019s DIY attempt.<\/p>\n

What is impressive is the stitching job Lady Crane did on Arya\u2019s stomach. She\u2019s able to endure a Jason Bourne-esque chase scene, jumping and rolling like she hasn\u2019t just had her abdomen ventilated. Suffice to say, she ends the diminutive lesbian. Her face now rests in the hall alongside Sean Bean, Joffrey and Barry Chuckle.<\/p>\n

Need to save room on your Sky box for whatever horrendous crap you usually watch? Try watching Game of Thrones on Now TV<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t know about you but I sometimes have to remind myself that there are three massive dragons and an army of ice zombies in this show. 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