{"id":2844,"date":"2019-07-17T17:25:30","date_gmt":"2019-07-17T17:25:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cinewipe.com\/?p=2844"},"modified":"2019-07-17T17:33:28","modified_gmt":"2019-07-17T17:33:28","slug":"cats-movie-to-consist-mostly-of-ball-licking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/index.php\/2019\/07\/17\/cats-movie-to-consist-mostly-of-ball-licking\/","title":{"rendered":"Cats movie to consist mostly of ball licking"},"content":{"rendered":"

The upcoming adaptation of Cats will almost entirely consist of famous people proudly washing their genitals with their tongues, it has been confirmed. <\/b><\/span><\/p>\n

The film is said to be using groundbreaking\u00a0<\/span>technology that will allow the likes of Jason Derulo to properly fellate himself for a good two hours. Whoever that is. <\/span><\/p>\n

A reliable-looking cat told CineWipe: \u201cIt fucking stunk on set. Honestly. Like warm ham. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s pretty much all they do throughout the film, lick their bits or the neutered ball slit where their bits used to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJames Corden kept licking even when they weren\u2019t filming.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Another equally reliable-looking cat added: \u201cThey do occasionally take a break from noshing themselves, though. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cFor instance, when Taylor Swift isn\u2019t licking her balls she\u2019s buggering off to her neighbour\u2019s house and sleeping in the owner\u2019s favourite chair. She then comes home expecting to be fed and shits on the kitchen work surface. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Dame Judi Dench claws at a ball on a string for at least twenty minutes.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The upcoming adaptation of Cats will almost entirely consist of famous people proudly washing their genitals with their tongues, it has been confirmed. 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