{"id":2971,"date":"2020-03-18T15:27:33","date_gmt":"2020-03-18T15:27:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/?p=2971"},"modified":"2020-03-18T15:38:47","modified_gmt":"2020-03-18T15:38:47","slug":"coronavirus-pandemic-wont-be-as-bad-as-the-new-star-wars-films-says-health-expert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/18\/coronavirus-pandemic-wont-be-as-bad-as-the-new-star-wars-films-says-health-expert\/","title":{"rendered":"Coronavirus pandemic won\u2019t be as bad as the new Star Wars films, says health expert"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><strong>There\u2019s absolutely no way the coronavirus can top the shithousery of the new Star Wars trilogy, a health expert has claimed.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">Dr Barry Warmbath, who has treated a number of patients currently infected with the virus, has assured the general public there\u2019s nothing to worry about, because even coughing yourself to death will be more enjoyable than the latest laser sword films. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">\u201cIt might finish off your nan, but it still won\u2019t be worse than the pacing in The Rise of Skywalker,\u201d said Warmbath. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">\u201cOver 60% of the world\u2019s population would have to be sent to an early grave for it to be as bad as the lack of character development and plot in The Last Jedi. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">\u201cAnd an 80% death rate would only just about match the horror of that donkey-camel scene. Now there\u2019s\u00a0<\/span><span class=\"s2\">a breakout that really hurt the human race.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">He added: \u201cIt\u2019s important to note that, during the coronavirus pandemic, the air has become less polluted and animals have started reclaiming areas of land and sea that are rightfully theirs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">\u201cThings will get better, but sad cunts will always write about how shite those films were.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There\u2019s absolutely no way the coronavirus can top the shithousery of the new Star Wars trilogy, a health expert has claimed. Dr Barry Warmbath, who has treated a&#8230; <a class=\"list-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/index.php\/2020\/03\/18\/coronavirus-pandemic-wont-be-as-bad-as-the-new-star-wars-films-says-health-expert\/\">Continue reading <i class=\"fa fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2972,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":{"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2971","post","type-post","status-publish","format-image","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-opinion","post_format-post-format-image"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Coronavirus won&#039;t be as bad as new Star Wars films, says health 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