{"id":3151,"date":"2021-05-16T12:42:51","date_gmt":"2021-05-16T12:42:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/?p=3151"},"modified":"2021-05-16T12:42:51","modified_gmt":"2021-05-16T12:42:51","slug":"film-peter-rabbit-2-cinema","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/index.php\/2021\/05\/16\/film-peter-rabbit-2-cinema\/","title":{"rendered":"Film twat can\u2019t wait to watch Peter Rabbit 2 or whatever bollocks is on at the cinema"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><strong>Film twat Ross McOven can\u2019t contain his excitement for the reopening of cinemas on Monday \u2013 so much so that he\u2019s already booked to see whatever absolute shite has unfurled from Hollywood\u2019s arse.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">Having severely missed the experience of sitting in a dark room that smells vaguely of first-date handjobs, Ross couldn\u2019t wait to book his tickets for the first available screenings of Peter Rabbit 2, Maya the Bee 3 and a twenty-ninth fucking Saw film. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">\u201cNot a single film coming to cinemas in the next few months looks even remotely worthy of taking two hours of my life, but I couldn\u2019t care less,\u201d said Ross. \u201cI have absolutely no standards whatsoever.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">\u201cI can\u2019t wait to watch Black Widow or Venom 2 or whatever bollocks Marvel and DC churn out next. I\u2019m fully ready to embrace mediocrity again.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\">\u201cThis pandemic has actually saved me about \u00a3500 on cinema tickets, which is probably enough money to make an Oscar-worthy indie film of my own, but I\u2019d much rather pay a monthly subscription to watch a gorilla twat a lizard on the big screen.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span class=\"s2\">\u201cI\u2019ve also booked a single seat for Demon Slayer: Mugen Train. I have absolutely no idea what that is, but who gives a fuck. Cinema is back, baby!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Film twat Ross McOven can\u2019t contain his excitement for the reopening of cinemas on Monday \u2013 so much so that he\u2019s already booked to see whatever absolute shite&#8230; <a class=\"list-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/cinewipe.com\/index.php\/2021\/05\/16\/film-peter-rabbit-2-cinema\/\">Continue reading <i class=\"fa fa-angle-double-right\"><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3153,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":null,"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":null,"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-featured","category-opinion"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - 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