Isn’t it just awful when a director and crew spend years making a film and then a snarky arsehole comes along and craps all over it after just a three minute trailer? Yeah. Awful. Well here’s me being that arsehole.<\/p>\n
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First up is The BFG. The BFG\u00a0which stands for Benjamin Franklin’s Genitals or some other easy acronym joke \u2013 is a live-action adaptation of Roald Dalh’s classic book about giant, marauding child snatchers. Okay, ‘BFG’ actually stands for Big Friendly Giant, but the word ‘friendly’ should definitely be brought into question, given the content of this trailer: the giant’s enormous, gangly hand slowly reaching into the window of an orphanage to grab a terrified girl from her bed. Yeah, he’s friendly all right \u2013 sweeties in the back of the van friendly. Speaking of sweet things, there’s no sign of any Frobscottle (fizzy drink) or subsequent whizzpopping (farting) yet. Hopefully there’ll be some sort of homage to the flatulence-filled song from the 1989 animated film, because, as we all know, farts are funny. Directed by the only person with a big enough reputation to fill the boots of his fuck-off-sized characters \u2013 Steven Spielberg, The BFG looks to have an air of E.T. about it, but instead of a wrinkly little alien, there\u2019s a massive Herbert the Pervert.<\/p>\n