Mario’s joyous galactic adventure is the only distraction we have from the impending nuclear apocalypse – and terrible parcel delivery companies
The release of The Super Mario Galaxy Movie will, as if by some cosmic coincidence, coincide with the exact delivery date of my Nintendo Switch 2. It was supposed to arrive earlier today, but I have just been informed by DPD that I was not at home at the time of their attempted delivery, despite eagerly waiting at the door and spying through the peephole like a parcel pervert. Either they’re lying to me or they’re somehow more aware of my whereabouts than I am. Regardless, I will now not be able to play with my new toy until The Super Mario Galaxy Movie – possibly the best film ever made – arrives in cinemas on Wednesday. I am 34 years old.
Some may argue that an animated sequel featuring cartoonish plumbers, princesses, talking dinosaurs and hairless homunculi wearing mushroom hats is primarily aimed at young children. But what do they know about squeezing through a U-bend pipe? Just like the first Super Mario Movie, I thoroughly enjoyed this joy-filled follow-up and consider it to be an essential watch for anyone who requires some colourful escapism to distract from the fact that the world is burning and we’re all going to die in a nuclear holocaust.
The plot centres around the kidnapping of Princess Rosalina as part of Bowser Jr.’s plan to free his father and conquer the galaxy. As Princess Peach sets out on her own adventure of self-discovery, Mario and Luigi are left to protect the Mushroom Kingdom with the help of their new green dino friend, Yoshi, before they all regather to do some space stuff. Perfectly voiced by Mr. Childish Gambino – older readers may know him as Donald Glover or not Danny Glover – Yoshi is an adorable embodiment of this film’s carefree approach. It may be overstuffed, crazily paced, and lacking narrative depth, but Donald Trump is going to turn the world into Fallout 3 and only the richest among us will be able to board Elon Musk’s spaceships to Proxima Centauri b, so shut the fuck up watch Yoshi poo out some eggs.
But seriously, if you’re a cultured Nintendo fan or overgrown child like myself. you’ll be delighted by what The Super Mario Galaxy Movie has to offer. In addition to the dazzling animation and non-stop action, it also features plenty of references to both Galaxy games, Mario Sunshine, and Odyssey. Where the first film was filled with nods to Mario’s arcade origins and his first official game on the NES in 1985, this one took me back to Christmas 2002, jet-washing iridescent sludge on the GameCube while not even remotely thinking about how, in twenty four years time, I’d be dealing with the world-ending possibility of my new Nintendo console not being delivered in my scheduled slot. Brie Larson is excellent as Rosalina.
Perhaps those who struggle to emotionally connect with these highly entertaining and respectfully made Mario films are just missing some essential part of their soul. Maybe they never played the games when they were young. Maybe some of them ended up becoming miserable DPD drivers who want to spite the world by claiming you weren’t home when you definitely were. Or maybe, just maybe, some of them are crazed world leaders who want to blast us into a permanent atomic winter because they never got to experience the joy of flattening a Goomba. What other possible reason could there be for giving an animation aimed at eight-year-olds such a hard time?