A film journalist has paid actual money to go and watch a movie, it has been confirmed
Aaron Schitlumps, who usually watches films for free because it’s his God-given right, was incensed not to be invited to a recent press screening of Clifford The Big Red Dog, so he reluctantly bought a ticket to see it with the disgusting general public.
“It was awful,” said Schitlumps. “Like being on the lower decks of the Titanic.
“There were prams in the aisle and at one point a boy with no shoes started busking in front of the screen.”
He continued: “I’m always going on about how everyone should support the industry, but I personally shouldn’t have to pay a fucking penny. It’s beneath me.
“To be honest, I totally forgot it was even an option. I was just going to moan at the PRs until they gave me an invite to the screening, but I eventually decided to do the noble thing.
“I’m never paying again, though.”