Sir Ian McKellen has been cast as the new Batman in the hope of bringing some real gravitas to the role, it has been confirmed.
Other, less serious stars had been considered to play the part, but they didn’t have the necessary acting skills to frown a lot and bang on about their parents being murdered.
An insider from the new Batman film said: “Sir Ian really is the only actor talented enough to play Batman. Did you see him in Pinter’s No Man’s Land on the West End? Of course you didn’t, but that’s the level of performance we’re after.
“We’re thinking of getting Glenn Close to play Robin.”
Dan Davis, a 47-year-old Batman superfan, said: “It’s about time they got someone in with Shakespearean training. Sir Ian will properly capture the nuances in Batman’s face as he’s lobbing a batarang at Killer Croc’s head.
“Although I’m slightly concerned he won’t live to finish a trilogy.”