Marvel’s latest superhero thing is not actually very good, a fan has realised.
32-year-old Ian Keats said he had a life-changing moment of realisation half-way through the latest Spider-Man or Iron Man or whatever it was, when it suddenly occurred to him that the film was only half as good as watching a fly die.
“I went in with such high expectations,” he said. “But after about an hour or so, I started to wonder if I’d be having more fun doing the washing or having a nice poo.
“It’s kind of ingrained into my brain to enjoy these things, but when Spider-Man did a CGI flip into some green smoke that also wasn’t there, it was like someone had suddenly flicked a switch, enabling me to see Marvel films for what they really are: tedious, mind-numbing, consumerist claptrap for genuine arseholes who spend their free time debating the science of magical pebbles with other genuine arseholes.
“Since realising this, I’ve read a tonne of Pratchett and Kafka and feel as though I have evolved as a person.
“I can’t wait for the new Batman, though.”