There’s absolutely no way the coronavirus can top the shithousery of the new Star Wars trilogy, a health expert has claimed.
Dr Barry Warmbath, who has treated a number of patients currently infected with the virus, has assured the general public there’s nothing to worry about, because even coughing yourself to death will be more enjoyable than the latest laser sword films.
“It might finish off your nan, but it still won’t be worse than the pacing in The Rise of Skywalker,” said Warmbath.
“Over 60% of the world’s population would have to be sent to an early grave for it to be as bad as the lack of character development and plot in The Last Jedi.
“And an 80% death rate would only just about match the horror of that donkey-camel scene. Now there’s a breakout that really hurt the human race.”
He added: “It’s important to note that, during the coronavirus pandemic, the air has become less polluted and animals have started reclaiming areas of land and sea that are rightfully theirs.
“Things will get better, but sad cunts will always write about how shite those films were.”