Black Widow has received the prestigious title of ‘best film ever made’ after being reviewed by a non-sentient machine person.
Keith the android, who generates his opinions by analysing hundreds of actual human reviews, as well as assessing an online algorithm of pop culture trends, has confirmed that the Marvel film is “definitely a five-star masterpiece.”
“This film is astonishing, exhilarating, visceral, and various other adjectives you may have seen on the poster,” said Keith.
“Seriously, if I had bodily fluids, I would have bawled my eyes out after that skydive scene, where everything looks a bit like a low-rendered computer game, but it’s not an issue.
“Of course, I haven’t actually seen the film. I’m simply relaying what I’ve read online. Plus I’m also partially programmed to rave about this bollocks.”