Film fans who let out an audible cry of excitement in the cinema will be immediately terminated by a death ray gun, it has been confirmed.
Cinema seats across the world are now being installed with self-firing laser rifles, which will automatically pop out of your headrest and disintegrate your face if you express your enjoyment of a film by shouting.
Death ray chair designer Peter Kniferack said: “We actually had a really successful test run of it when Incredibles 2 came out. When Elastigirl stopped that runaway train with her stretchy arms, one of the laser guns picked up a cheer and instantly vanquished the perpetrator.
“I did warn my son, so he got what he deserved.”
A study conducted by Kniferack’s team has concluded that people who audibly express their excitement in a cinema for the apparent benefit of those around them are 87% more likely to wet the bed and die alone.
Kniferack added: “For Star Wars and all future Marvel stuff, we’re working on a massive plasma cannon that flips from behind the screen and wipes out absolutely everyone.”