A 35-year-old man has shat his pants during a screening of Spider-Man: No Way Home, it has been confirmed.
Benjamin Bishop couldn’t contain his excitement while watching the latest Marvel thing, involuntarily emptying his bowels at the big reveals he already knew were coming.
Bishop said: “I’d already had a couple of close calls on the way to the cinema, but that always happens before I watch a superhero film. Or anything else predominantly aimed at tall children.
“After the fifth major reveal of the film, I just had to let loose. I swear, it shot out of me like an exploding web cartridge. My shoes are an absolute write-off.
“I was just so surprised by everything. Even though I’ve literally been tweeting about those exact reveals for the past two fucking years.
“At one point, I was worried a half-decent plot or some meaningful character development would get in the way of the reveals, but that fear was quickly thrown out. Like my trousers.”