My biggest fear is shitting myself in public. It’s not irrational. I have stomach problems. Earlier today I was in serious danger of soiling myself on the train,… Continue reading
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The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a rare film in which Samuel L. Jackson says ‘mothafucka’ a lot and Ryan Reynolds gets to play a sarcastic Canadian. It’s a return… Continue reading
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is a complex film in which a diminutive gimp and Cara Delevingne shoot their way through a massive space station… Continue reading
Just seconds into Christopher Nolan’s latest film Dunkirk, I knew it was better than me. A young soldier examines some Jehovah’s Witness leaflets before being interrupted by a… Continue reading
While dangling from a branch of my favourite tree, I often wonder what it would be like to be human. I envisage myself wearing trousers and doing human… Continue reading
The other day, while I was having a shit, I watched a spider try to crawl out of the bath plughole. It had the sort of morose demeanour… Continue reading
It is far too warm to watch Transformers: The Last Knight. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’m going to die soon, so the last thing I… Continue reading
I have a lot in common with the main character in Baby Driver. I, too, frequently fantasise about being an action hero and pretend I’m being backed by… Continue reading
As our world splinters under the tyranny of corporate hegemony, this Marvel classic gives us hope that maybe just one billionaire will go insane and rescue 12 refugees I’ll… Continue reading
When Wonder Woman barged into a small French village, deflected gunfire from German bastards with her magic bracelets and then punched the steeple off a church to take… Continue reading