How dare they give the perverted fantasy film Best Picture at the Oscars when all it’s done is turn my pond into a revolting sex stew? Since the… Continue reading
FEATURED
The vampire gore-orgy film was probably brilliant. I have not seen Underworld: Blood Wars, but I am extremely surprised to see that it hasn’t been nominated for an… Continue reading
What a wasted opportunity to make a much needed superhero film instead of some bollocks with a message. In Alexander Payne’s new film Downsizing, Matt Damon is shrunk… Continue reading
The animation for depressed adults has some important life lessons to share, but thankfully reiterates that the suffering will one day end. Coco is a semi-educational Happy Meal… Continue reading
FEATURED REVIEWS
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri – A film about reasonably priced IKEA furniture
There are many ways in which people can deal with grief. For instance, if you are outbid on an eBay auction at the last second, a common reaction… Continue reading
Christmas is an annual event in which people are forced to play charades with their racist relatives. It is commonly misconceived as the birthday of our Lord and… Continue reading
Many people think Star Wars: The Last Jedi is an excellent film. On the Twitter the other day, one person told me that it is better than The… Continue reading
I haven’t stopped shaking since I saw Star Wars: The Last Jedi. It’s minus one outside and the central heating’s fucked. The film, however, hasn’t yet had the… Continue reading
Are you sick of dickheads arguing about whether Die Hard is a Christmas film? It doesn’t matter either way, because even if it is, it will never be… Continue reading
The Disaster Artist is a film about the making of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, the worst film of all time. It features an Oscar-worthy performance from James… Continue reading