I haven’t seen the new horror film, which is excellent news for my imagination. The Invisible Man is probably the best film I haven’t seen this month. Just… Continue reading
REVIEWS
My viewing experience of this 2000 masterpiece is enhanced immeasurably when I watch it completely billy bollocks. I am writing this on a Wednesday, which means I have… Continue reading
FEATURED REVIEWS
Toy Story 4 review – A completely necessary addition to the Human Centipede franchise
Many had doubted if we really needed another Toy Story film, what with the third instalment conclusively tying things up and allowing us all to move on with… Continue reading
It has been four years since I last felt moved in a cinema, and that was because someone told me I was sat in their seat. But upon… Continue reading
Avengers: Endgame is a three-hour Marvel film about a group of superheroes who attempt to reverse the outcome of the last Marvel film in scenes that last approximately… Continue reading
The last time I genuinely marvelled at something was in my previous life as a common chaffinch. My mother had just finished regurgitating a delicious concoction of peanuts… Continue reading
It may have taken almost an entire decade, but finally, I have learnt how to train my dragon. After watching the final instalment of the How To Train… Continue reading
Occasionally, I take a selection of my favourite toys and play with them in the bath, imagining that they are conversing and battling in a vibrantly computer-rendered underwater… Continue reading
At one point during the climactic fight of Creed II, I got out of my seat and punched a fellow journalist in the back of the head. I… Continue reading
I recently went to a safari and watched two gorillas fuck each other for 133 minutes. And while I was initially excited to see such fantastic beasts engage… Continue reading