The fourth John Wick instalment allows Keanu Reeves to be the person he truly is: a cold-blooded psychopath If there’s one thing I enjoy more than viral videos… Continue reading
OPINION
The Creed franchise may be able to survive without Rocky, but this site will always require a pricey yearly fee It has been a full year since I… Continue reading
Black Widow has received the prestigious title of ‘best film ever made’ after being reviewed by a non-sentient machine person. Keith the android, who generates his opinions by… Continue reading
FEATURED OPINION
Don’t perv over Scarlett Johansson, says woman vaginally ingesting poster of Chris Hemsworth
A 36-year-old woman has implored everyone to stop admiring Scarlett Johansson, despite printing off an A1 poster of a shirtless Chris Hemsworth and cramming it up her minge…. Continue reading
FEATURED OPINION
Film twat can’t wait to watch Peter Rabbit 2 or whatever bollocks is on at the cinema
Film twat Ross McOven can’t contain his excitement for the reopening of cinemas on Monday – so much so that he’s already booked to see whatever absolute shite… Continue reading
Since the beginning of the pandemic, Twitter has seen a surge in unbearable film-related rants, hot takes and never-ending watchlist updates – but are you part of the… Continue reading
When she’s not opening schools or posing for stamps, Her Majesty absolutely loves dismembering scores of Mongols on the samurai game The monarch has had plenty of time… Continue reading
Modern science has found the appendix to be a useless sac of tissue that mostly does nothing, but mine managed to convince the girlfriend to destroy half our… Continue reading
It turns out chickens are sort of sacred in Skyrim – if only I’d known that before murdering one with magic In a cowardly attempt to escape the… Continue reading
It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. It’s CineWipe’s definitive ranking of 9 completely random films! 9. Twilight I only managed a few minutes of the first… Continue reading