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FEATURED OPINION REVIEWS

John Wick: Chapter 4 review – Keanu Reeves unleashes his inner bastard

by Chris Edwards
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FEATURED OPINION REVIEWS

Creed III review: This article cost me £400

by Chris Edwards
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5 wanking techniques for Batman fans, ranked

by Chris Edwards
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FEATURED REVIEWS

The Batman review – possibly the best film ever made

by Chris Edwards
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Grown man shits himself while watching Spider-Man: No Way Home

by Chris Edwards
The Man with the Golden Gun laser gun
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People who whoop in cinemas to be exterminated by automated laser guns

by Chris Edwards
FEATURED OPINION

A screwdriver catalogue, an assault rifle and tickets to space: Just a few things inside the goody bags at this year’s Oscars

On Jan 30, 2019 5:31 pm, by Chris Edwards

“It’s the best part of the Oscars,” says Geraldine Smythe, one of the event’s organisers responsible for packing the nominees’ goody bags. “No one really cares about the… Continue reading

FEATURED REVIEWS

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World review

On Jan 21, 2019 2:54 am, by Chris Edwards

It may have taken almost an entire decade, but finally, I have learnt how to train my dragon. After watching the final instalment of the How To Train… Continue reading

FEATURED OPINION

Quiz: Are you an insufferable film twat?

On Jan 10, 2019 12:32 am, by Chris Edwards

Are you an unbearable, self-righteous prick with shit taste in films and therefore perpetuating a culture of mediocrity that’s ultimately responsible for Brexit? Take the quiz and find… Continue reading

FEATURED REVIEWS

Aquaman review – A film that openly invites us to drown ourselves

On Dec 11, 2018 11:27 pm, by Chris Edwards

Occasionally, I take a selection of my favourite toys and play with them in the bath, imagining that they are conversing and battling in a vibrantly computer-rendered underwater… Continue reading

FEATURED REVIEWS

Creed II review – I became a boxer for a day

On Nov 26, 2018 3:32 pm, by Chris Edwards

At one point during the climactic fight of Creed II, I got out of my seat and punched a fellow journalist in the back of the head. I… Continue reading

FEATURED REVIEWS

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald review – A long day on safari

On Nov 16, 2018 1:30 pm, by Chris Edwards

I recently went to a safari and watched two gorillas fuck each other for 133 minutes. And while I was initially excited to see such fantastic beasts engage… Continue reading

FEATURED REVIEWS

Fist Man review: The film about the first man to fist himself is an agonising triumph

On Oct 12, 2018 4:04 pm, by Chris Edwards

Man has always dreamed of fisting his own arse. It’s a feat that’s been depicted as mere fantasy in recent sci-fi films like Interstellar and Arrival, but in… Continue reading

FEATURED OPINION

Venom is the latest proof that films are generally a bit shit

On Oct 05, 2018 3:11 pm, by Chris Edwards

I have been too busy to see Venom, the Spider-Man villain film aimed specifically at bed-wetting adults, but none the less, I know that it is shit. I… Continue reading

FEATURED OPINION

The Predator receives two-hour standing ovation at Cannes

On Sep 10, 2018 1:07 pm, by Chris Edwards

Audience members broke into thunderous applause after watching the film about two minge-faced aliens battering the shit out of each other Film journalists and bloggers alike clapped for… Continue reading

FEATURED OPINION

Venice Film Festival 2018: How to be insufferable on Twitter

On Sep 05, 2018 11:16 am, by Chris Edwards

With the Venice Film Festival 2018 in full swing, I spoke to an attendee about tweeting obnoxious guff about it. It’s that time of year again when swathes… Continue reading

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