OPINION

Due to the overwhelming success of Disney’s Aladdin, an original live-action adventure about an Arabian adolescent who regularly rubs one out, the studio is now considering adapting it… Continue reading

Former Game of Thrones fan Michael Croker is incandescent with rage after discovering that not all stories are painfully obvious and predictable, like Mr Men books or Avengers:… Continue reading

Sir Ian McKellen has been cast as the new Batman in the hope of bringing some real gravitas to the role, it has been confirmed. Other, less serious… Continue reading

Avengers: Endgame will culminate in a monumental fuckfest, the like of which has never been seen on a cinema screen, it has been confirmed.  After defeating Thanos, the… Continue reading

Novelty voice message leaver and Clash of the Titans star Liam Neeson will play the villain in the upcoming Black Panther sequel Black Panther 2: Oh No He… Continue reading

“It’s the best part of the Oscars,” says Geraldine Smythe, one of the event’s organisers responsible for packing the nominees’ goody bags. “No one really cares about the… Continue reading

Are you an unbearable, self-righteous prick with shit taste in films and therefore perpetuating a culture of mediocrity that’s ultimately responsible for Brexit? Take the quiz and find… Continue reading

I have been too busy to see Venom, the Spider-Man villain film aimed specifically at bed-wetting adults, but none the less, I know that it is shit. I… Continue reading

Audience members broke into thunderous applause after watching the film about two minge-faced aliens battering the shit out of each other Film journalists and bloggers alike clapped for… Continue reading

With the Venice Film Festival 2018 in full swing, I spoke to an attendee about tweeting obnoxious guff about it. It’s that time of year again when swathes… Continue reading